I write the songs.

A Colloquy

Why is this record autographed?
Therein lies a tale.

But it's from you and you still have it?
You're beginning to see the light!

Do Tell
Well, when I was in 10th-12th grade I sang in a local youth choir as the senior member. In fact junior and senior year I was the only member of my class participating so I got all the solos. Something of a minor local celebrity at the time what with various swimming championships, my own local Coca Cola ad, National merit semifinalist, Key club President, soon to be an undefeated Brain brawl team and individual champion, I was frankly a little studette as far as a nerd can be. There was this one girl in choir who kept making the googly eyes. Turns out she had one of the worst cases of puppy love I've ever seen. It got both embarrassing and uncomfortable as she would follow me everywhere silently a few steps behind. That and she was 13 but with a body going on 18 . . . ouch. But then I'm not Wooderson and was never tempted by the gal young 'un. Obviously one just waits for it to runs its natural course, right? Well no I was a smart alecky 16-year-old, so of course I came up with some crackpot scheme to end it quicker. It involved music naturally. I would give her The J. Geils' Band 7" "Love Stinks", and she would come to her senses . . . . D'oH! Of course she would have seen the gift and only the gift, not any subtle message it presented. Note how subtly I underlined the song's title. With a weekend to sleep on it, I wised up and have kept the record as a memento of this event and my near-folly. Summer passed. She entered the local high school and fell in love with a 10th grader who had moved in across the street. Naturally I was "crushed" at the loss of this "relationship". And so it goes.