King dork.

One of the most charming things about Frank Portman's fantastic young adult novel, King Dork, is the running joke about Tom aka Sheepie aka Chi-Mo's continually non-existent band composed of his few buddies, which changes names and logos seemingly weekly like a fictional version of one of Bob Pollard's 4-disc box sets with 103 songs each attributed to a different band with hilarious names like Bottoms Up! (You Fantastic Bastard), Resin Cabin, Turbo Boy, Unshaven Bird, Marching 100, A Good Circuitry Soldier or Mars: The Bringer of War. But a perceptive fan named Hez did point out this truth:

I brought Frank Portman's book King Dork on my trip. I read the thing in two days. It was really good. In the book, the main character makes up a band with his best friend. They change the band name every week. Baby Batter was one such name...while going through my dad's records I was surprised to see that it was a real album!

Pretty much anyone with a serious interest in pop/rock music has fantasized about being in a band and created a back story or a Behind The Music career arc. Ten years ago here's the one I came up with:

A fragment of

The Maximal Bard;

Or,

Shakespearean Society and The Spectacle:



Some Ruminations by G. E. Light

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For the Young and Young at Heart


© Copyright by George Evans Light 1997
All Rights Reserved

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Contents


I. Shakescult/Bardcrit 1

II. The Profession 6

III. Acting Up 10

IV. Detritus 15

V. Prologemena for a New Edition ?

VI. Textual Note(s) ?


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III.5
Pop Music and Shakespeare

Mr. Malone, Hey Nonny Nonny this. If I had a band, its name would most definitely be “This happy breed of men” and it would play loud dour guitar music somewhere between The Mission of Burma and My Bloody Valentine. Several song titles already come to mind: “Pursued by a Bear,” “The very naked name of love,” “Seen the Spider,” “Gazer Joy,” “Because my name is George,” and “The muzzle of restraint.” For good measure our set would end with a Jonsonian encore of the punky “Turd i’ your teeth” followed by three covers: a cover of This Mortal Coil’s cover of the Chris Bell tune “I am the Cosmos,” Guided by Voices' “Over the Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox,” and a frenzied finale of The Weddoes’ “Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft” in full Albini effect.



That’s the harmony in MY head; such is the stuff dreams are made on. (p. 13)