The one i love.

This is the opening gambit to a found object novel, Love Letters, I'll probably never complete. Still the opening was pretty fun to create and might mean something to folks who spent part of the 80s or 90s in the Bay Area.


Call me Ishie. Ishie of Dorkmandy. I used to be sorta like the King himself, Tommy. No not that deaf, dumb and blind kid, the MTX one, Tom H., Chi-Mo, Sheepie— that one. But then I grew up and left the whole rock star dream steadfastly in the rearview. Of course, Ishie's not my real name. But then Moby's not the real name of that short bald guy who made millions with Alan Lomax's or was it Harry Smith's [ed. Alan Lomax, Sounds of the South box set] musical offal. As Stubbsie said, or was it Simon? [ ed. Paul Morley, actually, in Words and Music: a history of pop in the shape of a city (2003), p. 199] an "example of corporately sponsored, fake-ethnic, ambient business blues." Melville that, Holmes!

It all began when I bought the aging Victorian on Portrero Hill 2 blocks north of Fritz Maytag's Anchor Steam Brewery. You see I was a young buck at Pillsbury Madison & Sutro or at least a new legal librarian with a freshly minted MIS degree from Florida State. Ironically I'm something of a Luddite or at least a retro fetishist.[1] Thus I use the old proper name for the SF half of the new über-global firm Pillsbury Winthrop LLP. Well … we can still see who was the Senior Partner! Take that you Pompous, Stuffy Manhattanites . . . Of course, coming from someone in PMS' employee that's the proverbial kettle calling the pot black. Ha, "PMS' employee" describing a guy, that's a good one [ed. Puhleeze!] Can you say "White shoe firm"? Good, I knew you could.

O.K. O.K. Back to the story at hand. So I had found this neat, nearly affordable three story house (think Michael Keaton in Pacific Heights, which by the way was shot on Portrero, O.J.'s original 'hood). With my new PMS salary (sorry can't help myself) [ed. "Apparently not!" said archly] and a small familial bequest I could just swing the down payment and make the monthly mortgage, assuming I went on a 5-day-a-week Top Ramen diet for at least 2 years and ate out only once every three months, but not at Chez Panisse, Ernie's, The French Laundry, The Lark Creek Inn, Geordy's, Boulevard, Alain Rondelli, Fleur de Lys, Woodward's Gardens, Restaurant Gary Danko, Masa's or any place of that ilk.[2] Instead I feasted on Rillette du Périgord—$5 at Café Claude—or an 8-oz cheeseburger topped with avocado—$5.50 from Slider's Diner—or the best yet: a Super Burrito—$3.50 at El Farolito in the Mission.

To begin again it all began after a late night walk/stumble home from the Bottom of The Hill in late January 2008. The Angry Samoans, I think? Or no? maybe it was The Mr. T Experience? Or perhaps even more obscure old school like a Samiam show? Don't really remember, do I? You get the picture though. Loud three chord punk rock with witty lyrics and the occasional sweet harmony. A Bay Area staple since B4 Penelope Houston & The Avengers hit the Mabuhay Gardens in '78 with a proof sheet from J. Neo (Marvin). Kinda reminds one of Darby & The Great Society, better yet The Mojo Men, "She's My Baby". Or some other Lenny Kaye approved Nugget™. Anyway, well Nevermind, that doesn’t really matter, does it? So let's continue shall we. [locks fingers pauses, and takes a deep OHM-like breath to clear the chi while searching for the lost chord] I'd been moving in slowly over a long weekend. The former owner had mysteriously left town in a hurry (rumor had it there was at least one woman involved)—some said an unwanted pregnancy, others hinted at something even more sinister no doubt inspired by Mr. Keaton's cinematic exemplar (I still shudder at the cockroaches)— there was kinky talk of non-baseball triple plays and swinging—just not for the fences, but the lone romantic on this sunny hillside—a sixty-something little old lady from Pasadena and solitary shut-in—assured me over tepid Paul Masson California "sherry" and brie slices on Carrs® Sesame Table Water® crackers that it was all (more or less) on the "up and up", while claiming convincingly or least with a kind of confident authority one never knows whether or not to trust, that "the 'couple' had 'eloped' [elaborate scare quotes made with both hands] to her hometown of Chicago and the quaint Andersonville neighborhood." She added conspiratorially, "She really didn't look Swedish you know? Beautiful yes, I mean truly drop dead gorgeous, curves where they should be—none of that modern model stick thin garbage but like a real women should. You know the type Lollobridgida, Mansfield, Ekberg, Monroe, Loren, Anouk Aimée the REAL beauties—and her with a mega-watt smile to boot, But Swedish never, too dark, too Latin." Whatever. What do I know about the intricacies/ethnicities of Chicago neighborhoods I've never heard of before?[3] So they ran away together, so what? Sounds like much ado about a henpecked you all intellectual to quote George Gordon [ed. Lord Byron, Don Juan, Canto I Stanza XXII "But – Oh! Ye lords of ladies intellectual,/Inform us truly, have they not hen-pecked you all?"]. Anyway to recommence, the house was in pretty good condition except for one room way in the back on the third floor; it seemed to have served as some kind of office cum library cum random storage space. It had taken me the better part of two half days to clear out the detritus that still remained in this "office". One sole cardboard liquor box of stuff remained to be culled through for any "treasures".

That's when I found the notebooks—Mead Composition 100 sheets wide ruled, the kind with the faux marbled black and white cardboard cover stock. 3 of them. Preternaturally genetically curious and with over 10 years training as an archival researcher …. Oh yes, I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I? So very sorry about that! That's Dr. Geoffrey Quillerman Beinstock IV to you; GQ to my oldest friends from down south except for the really witty ones who just yelled my surname "Beinstock!" like they were Joan Shawlee's Sweet Sue in Some Like It Hot. Then there was that eating club asshole in Cottage on Prospect who just wiggled four fingers palm backwards and did the head nod thing when he wanted to take my attention away from the traditional beans and franks at lunch. But then he was Wellington Dumont Percivall the Fifth and you know how bad "the Fifth's" can be, don't you? Did I mention I'm really into movies of all ilks? Merde, even some nouvelle vague French ones. Back in the mid '80s I did a MTL PhD at Stanford; Dissertation Title—My Brother Fought In Nicaragua and all I got was this lousy t-shirt: Life As A Faux Contra in Berkeley. Committee: Regenia Gagnier, Chair, Russell Berman, Marxist Interventionist and close reader extraordinaire, and Hans Üllrich Gümbrecht, "token" European theory type (get your umlauts here 2 for the price of 1). Not only did I win The Little Shop of Horrors (aka Roger Corman) Memorial Dissertation Fellowship, but I also actually won a tenure track job at a big Cow College near home, kinda like the one in Moo except way more fetid ("It's not the heat, it's the humidity"), But as you might imagine, it REALLY REALLY wasn't a very good fit at all.

My personal mid-life crisis entailed going back to school. Because library jobs were plentiful, my training and temperament suited the profession, and I'd been interested in the law ever since I saw Inherit The Wind as a 10 year old, rapidly devouring Irving Stone's Clarence Darrow for the Defense the next week, I decided to pursue an Information Systems degree and sell myself to the biggest/richest law firm I could find in a city I could stand to live in for at least five years. Like Mr B, I guess I too left something in the Bay Area [ed. We can only assume it wasn't a heart]. Thus I managed to crib the holy grail of Legal Librarian jobs, a junior position at Pillsbury Winthrop nee Madison & Sutro [ed. probably an Ivy league summa pedigree, Cambridge "starred" first at Milton, Darwin and Schama's Christ's on a Marshall Scholarship then followed by the Stanford PhD had a little something to do with "earning" this coveted position]. So where was I? [consults his handwritten ms] Oh yes, ahem "Curious and with over 10 years training as an archivist (yes much better more succinct, direct, and to the point), I dove into the last cardboard box. A bunch of legal documents, some bank records and then the mother lode. Those 3 inconspicuous black composition books entitled, in handwritten black ink, probably from a Sharpie®, LoveLetters. There was an Act I, an Act II, and an Act III. What follows is my recreated case study of In Re: HFM vs. Jane Does 1–3. Without further let or hindrance [ed. We told him to cut the legal mumbo jumbo . . .sigh], we begin . . .

[1] Luddite a term from 19th century English history referring to anti-industrialists who destroyed looms as well as wool and cotton mills in the Midlands first (Nottinghamshire), but then primarily in Northern England (the west Riding of Yorkshire and Lancashire); one of their primary defenders was Beinstock's culture hero Lord Byron. More recently in his epochal The Making of the English Working Class, E.P. Thompson has forwarded the thesis that Luddites were not anti-technology but rather were worried about the abolition of set prices and the introduction of the free market.
[2] This is a rather curious list for 2008 as Ernie's, Geordy's, and Alain Rondelli had long been closed, but then we assume Beinstock dined there during his halcyon graduate school days. Elsewhere he has written rhapsodically about an earlier memorable meal at Chez Panisse (2nd seating) with his Princeton college roommate Chauncey Frobisher whose Lazard Frères expense account covered the bill.
[3] More than most people! A trait at once infuriating, charming and somewhat unique. Beinstock defines knowledge and the art of knowing a bit about some topic differently than the average person; when he says he doesn't know about something be very wary because chances are he knows a lot more about it than you do. He just defines "knowing" something as being considered close to a last word expert on the topic: "anything less is NOT KNOWLEDGE" he once (in)famously exclaimed to a student who was complaining about the difficulty of his final exam for a split-level junior, senior, and master's candidate class on the 17th century.

You're the top!

Straight from Peru (Indiana) to you, props and congrats to Emma Ignaszaewski, WINNER of the Inaugural Christmas Could be a Mix Tape Christmas Party Contest. Emma's CD entitled Love Letters (see she knows how to scan a blog and suck up to the contest holder, but note I didn't vote as an ex officio member of the judging panel) is pictured above along with her entry essay. I'm proud to name it the final member of the LoveLetters Trilogy I: The Compilation, II: lfil, and III: Emma's Songs.

Here's what the judges got when deciding she was the winner:

Tape B

Nicely illustrated track listing; Tape involves original songs plus a Karaoke effect singalong by compiler. Has an essay explaining this decision.

Aida-Every Story is a Love Story
Stevie Wonder-Part-Time Lover
John Mayer-Only Heart
Box of Rain-Grateful Dead
Sarah Bereilles-Love Song
Boston-Amanda
Christina Aguilera-Ain't No Other Man
Bruce Springsteen-Girls in Their Summer Clothes
Dean Martin-Send Me The Pillow You Dream On'
James Morrison-This Boy
Journey-Don't Stop Believing
Aida-Every Story is a Love Story (Reprise)

essay: Love is a swaying porch swing watching the sunset. Love is biking to the park on a weekend afternoon ton play frisbee a dusk. Love is singing along to the music. I taped myself singing along t all my favorite songs…those songs I play five times in a row on the way t school. The result is this, a mélange of bona fide performers and me, a regular kid who loves music so much that she isn't ashamed of her mediocre voice being subtly played next to those legends.

Anyway, double congratulations are in order as Emma is awaiting news of where she'll attend college next fall: she is an extremely talented science student and Arizona state medallist in swimming. I know her parents are very justifiably proud of all her accomplishments. TNA is excited to hear where she decides to attend college when she decides.

Emma, thanks for the mix! The Prize (?) is in the mail.

LoveLetters II: lfil.

Another CD playlist to ease us out of cassette mania and back into the 21^st Century!

"Hold On! I'm A Comin'" 2:38 Sam & Dave Very Best of Sam and Dave
"You Made Me Realise" 3:49 My Bloody Valentine You Made Me Realise [EP]
"This Is Your Life" 3:20 Commodores The Best of the Commodores
"No Place Like Home" 2:18 The Neighborhoods DIY: Mass. Ave. - The Boston Scene (1975-83)
"Innocent Kiss" 3:23 Penelope Houston The Whole World
"Your Complex" 2:33 Ned's Atomic Dustbin God Fodder
"Open My Eyes" 2:43 The Nazz Nuggets - A Classic Collection from The Psychedelic Sixties
"Every Pretty Girl" 2:54 Barbara Manning Lately I Keep Scissors
"The Girl I Love She Got Long Black Wavy Hair" 3:03 Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions [Disc 1] [Live]
"Hello It's Me" 4:38 Todd Rundgren Something/Anything? [Disc 2]
"Just To Be Close To You" 3:23 Commodores Anthology
"Comes Love" 4:02 Billie Holiday The Silver Collection
"Nothing Can Change This Love" 3:46 Sam Cooke Live At The Harlem Square Club, 1963
"Must I Paint You A Picture" 5:33 Billy Bragg Workers Playtime
"Couldn't I Just Tell You" 3:34 Todd Rundgren Something/Anything? [Disc 2]
"Thank You" 4:50 Led Zeppelin Led Zeppelin II
"Sweet Love" 3:30 Commodores The Best of the Commodores
"Boys Don't Cry" (studio demo) 2:45 The Cure Three Imaginary Boys [Rarities 1977-1979]
"Embraceable You" 4:54 Sarah Vaughan & Clifford Brown Sarah Vaughan With Clifford Brown
"If You Don't Know Me By Now" 3:26 Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes 1972 Philly
"In My Life" 2:28 The Beatles Rubber Soul
"Nothing Compares 2 U" 5:11 Sinéad O'Connor I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got

LoveLetters.

Compiled by G. E. Light

Launches 02/15/2008

For now, an annotated playlist:

LoveLetters: The Compilation
A TNA Production © bulb November 4, 2007

"The Letter" 1:58 The Box Tops Back To The 60's

David McCarty would disagree whole heartedly, but I truly believe the first hit Alex Chilton had as a teenager was his best work followed closely by Big Star's "Mod Lang" which has its own record store!

"Box Full Of Letters" 3:06 Wilco A.M.

Wake me up when Jeff Tweedy returns to his alt country roots and stops making unmemorable and derivative alt rock guitar records. He never should have fired Oxford, MS's Jay Bennett.

"Excitable Boy" 2:40 Warren Zevon A Quiet Normal Life - The Best of Warren Zevon

Reason #103 why Letterman is cooler than Leno: BFF w/Warren Zevon.

"Feed Me with Your Kiss" 3:57 My Bloody Valentine Isn't Anything

Maybe the best indie rock single of the 1990s; I mean there's a whole genre called "Shoegazer" coming out of this song's riffs.

"Love Is All Around (Mary Tyler Moore Theme)" 1:48 Hüsker Dü Eight Miles High/Makes No Sense At All ep

Given the sophistication of HD's difficult love songs and their Minneapolis roots covering the theme song of the great 70s show about complicated relationships is so logical it just had to happen and it did.

"I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor" 2:54 Arctic Monkeys Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

Let's hear it for regional accents—in this case South Yorkshire Pennines outta Sheffield steel. Somehow these lyrics should work as a pickup line . . .

"Searching For Mr Right" 3:04 Young Marble Giants Colossal Youth

The best record of 1983 is now the best reissued CD of 2007. 3 kids from Wales made a nearly perfect record: sparse, beautiful, and utterly sui generis not to mention my pick for best LP Cover Art of All Time (Black & White division).



"Idylls Of The King" 3:32 The Mountain Goats Tallahassee

One of my favorite "bands"; I even arranged my friend John Darnielle's 1st and as of yet only MS gig at W.C. Don's in Jackson a few years back. Tallahassee is my hometown and a very special place. Tallahassee is a very special album. Read about them here.

"Hearing Voices" 3:37 Galaxie 500 This Is Our Music

Two of my Freshmen classmates formed a band "Speedy & The Castanets." One of them, Damon Krukowski inherited a hand me down drum kit from his roommate Conan O'Brien. After college in 1985 they joined a former Dalton School friend and 1986 Harvard grad to woodshed and get signed by Rough Trade, becoming the great American indie band of the early 1990s almost know one in America heard. Dean Wareham went on to greater fame fronting LUNA.

"I Wanna Hold You" 3:42 Al Green Everything's OK

Because the mid-1970s' classics have become clichés, but the right Reverend Green has not. Listen to his guitarwork.

"L-O-V-E" 2:34 Nat King Cole The Capitol Collectors Series

Who doesn't love a musical spelling lesson-cum-torch song?

"Caldonia" 3:20 B. B. King The State/IB World "Movie" Mix

Lucille in full flight.

"Anthrax" 4:24 Gang Of Four Entertainment!

The greatest of the English post punk bands. Andy Gill shatters glass with his "angular" fretwork. Two channels; two different vocals. Simply brilliant avant garde stuff.

"I Found That Essence Rare" (live) 2:42 Band Of Susans The Peel Sessions

Robert Poss, Susan Stenger et al. cover Gang of Four for the World's Greatest Radio DJ.

"It's Over" 2:52 Boz Scaggs Silk Degrees

In 8th grade, this was my favorite song; I still think "It's cool"!

"All Or Nothing At All" 5:44 Billie Holiday The Silver Collection

Holiday's failing voice here provides the quintessence of the torch singer's art; don't listen to the late period naysayers and besides what sidemen!: Ben Webster on tenor, Barney Kessel on guitar, and Harry "Sweets" Edison on trumpet, for starters.

"Cut" 3:17 14 Iced Bears Epon

Formed in 1985 and the second best thing out of Brighton (Fatboy Slim wins that vote by a landslide).

"Sick Of Myself" 3:41 Matthew Sweet The Platinum & Gold Collection

After playing bass alongside ex-Voidoid guitarist Robert Quine (from whom he learned more than a riff or three) for Lloyd Cole's solo debut, Sweet became the power pop darling of the 1990s American indie rock scene. This was his biggest hit, almost cracking the Top 50 and a mainstay of college rock. It typifies his sophisticated discussion of the difficulties and paranoia of post-modern love affairs.

"I Only Have Eyes for You" 3:22 The Flamingos Doo Wop Classics, Vol. 1

The title alone says it all.

"That's How Strong My Love Is" 2:26 Otis Redding The Very Best Of Otis Redding

The personal significance of this song is too heavy for me to comment upon it meaningfully.

"When Will I See You Again" 2:58 The Three Degrees The Philly Sound: Kenny Gamble, Leon Huff & The Story Of Brotherly Love (1966-1976) [Disc 2]

One song that David McCarty and I absolutely agree on. Gamble and Huff and the Philly Sound at its highest peak.

"At Last" 2:59 Etta James At Her Best

If they slow dance in "Heaven", then this is their soundtrack; also provided a memorable closing in The Brick to a famous Northern Exposure episode, featuring the entire cast and a ton of extras.

"It's Only Time" 4:28 The Magnetic Fields i

Stephen Merritt is a major league misanthrope, but boy is this a lovely song. One to play at a pre-scripted proposal scene?!!?

ADDENDA 10:51 pm

Love is a Mix Tape

Rummaging through the closet while reorganizing stuff in my "Music Room", I found a mysterious box. When I looked inside it was the mother lode: a historical collection of mix tapes dating back to the mid 1980s at least. I'll blog about some of them (mine and gifst) next week when I have time, but for now a preview of the famous 5/23/91 tape Slow Grooves on Maxell XLS-II C-100 tape.



Here's the Cassette tape insert. It was created using a tweaked out version of my college classmate Dan Winkler's HyperCard program Cassette Labeller. A grad school friend, Jeff Erickson, helped me make the cut outs actually size properly to fit in the typical cassette box.





Side A
KC & Sunshine Band-Please Don't Go
The Last-Baby It's You
James Cotton-Baby Please
Etta James-At Last
James Brown-Prisoner of Love
Irma Thomas-It's Raining
Percy Sledge-Take Time To Know Her
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell_You're All I Need To Get By
Beach Boys-Here Today
Everything But The Girl-Apron Strings
Roxy Music-Avalon
Prefab Sprotu-When Love Breaks Down
Cocteau Twins-Those Eyes

Side B
Chris Cain-Never Knew I Could Be This Blue
Billie Holiday-Without Your Love
Jackson 5-Maybe Tomorrow
Roy Orbison-Only The Lonely
Otis Redding-That's How Strong MY Love Is
Jimmy Buffet-Stars Fell ON Alabama
Sarah Vaughan-The Sweetest Sounds
Frank Sinatra-Strangers In The Night
Ella Fitzgerald-Misty
[Lena Horne-September Song]
John Wesley Harding-50 50 Split
Mel Torme-1st Time Ever
Morrissey-Yes, I Am Blind
[Sly & The Family Stone-Family Affair]
[King Floyd-Groove Me]

Brackets denote hidden tracks

A Few Notes

KC exists in the Carribbean dance continuum that runs from Dizzy's "Manteca" to the Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine's "1-2-3." "Please Don't Go" not Donna Summer's "Last Dance" is the definitive disco ballad.

James Brown track is from the 1968 "Live at the Apollo" disc.

Irma Thomas was recorded live at Slim's in San Francisco.

Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell-the glory of 7" vinyl!

Jackson 5 track is taken from the vinyl soundtrack to the ABC special Going Back to Indiana.

Jimmy Buffet's track was a great ballad before it became license plate fodder.